Where Were You?
by enigma-kar
Summary: Where were you, when everything was falling apart? Dean confronts Castiel after weeks of abandonment. Hurt, comfort and Destiel.


**Disclaimer: **Supernatural belongs to WB and Eric Kripke. The lyrics in the summary and also in this fic belong to The Fray.

_This could basically be set anytime after Cas has been absent for a few episodes. Also it's, in part, inspired by _The Fray's You Found Me. _Dean has a rather rude mouth in this, so warning for angry swearing. __And, finally, this is my first attempt at a "Destiel" fic, so I hope it's ok and I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are much appreciated love. :)_

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**Where Were You?**

"Cas, get your ass down here you son of a bitch!" Dean screamed for what felt like the hundredth time. Pacing back and forth, he glared up at the darkening sky, almost daring someone to show themselves. Daring Castiel to appear.

It had been weeks. Weeks of limited contact, with Castiel only appearing when it suited him and when he needed help. Never when Dean needed help; or when he just needed his angel. Dean hated the feeling of abandonment it left him with. And it made his blood boil in anger at the angel who dictated so much of his mind and thoughts.

"CASTIEL! Cas, you fuc-"

"Hello Dean," Castiel's deep, calm voice sounded from behind him and Dean spun with lightening speed.

"Where were you?"

"Let me explain, Dean..."

"No, you listen to me," Dean stalked up to him, annoyed by the angel's impassiveness.

He lashed out, violently smashing his fist into the other's face. Dean knew it hurt him more than it hurt Castiel, but he needed to get it out of his system. He wanted to Castiel to feel the pain and the abandonment he felt. He wanted him fight back and throw a punch or two. But Castiel just stood there, his head tilted slightly. Dean glowered. "Where the fuck have you been? I've needed you, Cas. You left me alone. Do you know how that feels?"

Castiel sighed and, closing his eyes, bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"SORRY?" Dean's yell echoed rather impressively. Castiel flinched and looked up at him again. "Sorry for what, Cas? Sorry you left me? You left me alone to deal with so much crap."

"I'm sorry I left," Castiel began, softly. "I thought you had-"

"Had what, Cas? I've had nothing these past weeks. Everything's been falling apart and I needed the support, man." He blinked back angry tears. "Don't you get it? You're the only one who understands and you bailed on me! You left me big time!"

"You should calm down, Dean."

"Calm down? Don't you dare tell me to calm down! You only appear here when it's convenient for you. I fucking hate how you use me like this. You have _no _concern!" And Castiel flinched again as the words cut through him, paining him more than he would have thought possible. "You told me once you'd rather be here most of the time, so why the hell aren't you?"

"I'm sor-"

"No. Don't say it again," Dean's voice turned to steely disappointment, ridiculously fast.

"It's all I can say, Dean. I never meant to abandon you like this. But things have been difficult-"

"Oh don't give me that crap. You know full well what I've had to deal with these past weeks. And frankly, I could have done with your help. Do you just not care anymore? Is that it? Have you finally become just another fucking heatless angel dick?"

"No, Dean," Castiel began firmly, his fierce, blue eyes not leaving Dean's face. "I care more than you could..." He broke off with a small shake of his head. "It was too difficult for me. I didn't want to..."

"Well you should have!" Dean began to yell again. "I needed you and I thought you'd be there for me. But, hey, you've told me so many bloody cryptic and conflicting things over the years that maybe I was wrong to think that. Even after everything, you still only serve heaven, don't you?" Dean spat at him and with narrowed, hateful eyes he turned and stalked away.

For a brief moment Castiel watched him leave, allowing Dean a few seconds of victory to calm himself. There were many things about Dean, Castiel didn't understand. And perhaps never would. Sentences, actions, emotions and feelings which were completely lost on him. But _this_, Castiel understood. He understood the pain of abandonment and loss.

More than anything, Castiel could understand that. And the guilt was overwhelming.

Dean had nearly made it ten yards before Castiel suddenly appeared before him, his hand pressed against Dean's chest, firmly stopping him.

"Piss off, Cas," Dean said harshly, but made no effort to move.

Slowly, Castiel ran his hand upwards until it was gently grasping the side of Dean's face. For once he didn't pull away. "I don't serve you, Dean. I've told you that before."

Dean's face hardened instantly. He didn't want to hear this bullshit right now.

"I've also told you that our bond is far beyond any servitude," Castiel continued and, despite everything, Dean frowned; he'd forgotten. "You've made me who I am, Dean Winchester. And I'm sorry if it appeared I had forgotten you. I... I don't think I am capable of forgetting you."

At his words, the anger left Dean almost instantly. He half collapsed as the tears stinging in his eyes, finally leaked out. It seemed as though everything he'd been through without Castiel had lead to this moment and Dean just couldn't keep it together anymore. Castiel's arms were suddenly the only thing holding him up. One of the angel's hands awkwardly patted his back. For the first time in so long, Dean felt safe and comforted. His worries about everything he'd been dealing with slowly fell away, along with his previous anger. And left in its place was a simple gratitude and love for his angel. His Castiel.

"I'm sorry," Dean muttered after a moment.

"Don't," Castiel replied and with gentle force he brought their heads together. Foreheads pressed against each other, feeling cool in contrast to their heated breaths.

"Where were you, Cas?" Dean repeated, this time in soft, pained desperation.

"Just a little late..."

And Dean began to smile as Castiel softly pressed their lips together.


End file.
